One Date With Me & You’ll Want A New Tattoo

I’m that good at first dates, you’ll want to mark the occasion afterwards permanently… Apparently.

One date, three blog posts. This guy had better stick around and not be a cock, that’s all I’m saying. That’s a lot of words to waste on a douchebag.

Just to recap, if you’ve not read part one and part two, you can find them here:

• Pre-Date
• Post-Date

A tall, hottie of a man with tattoos and an underlying sense of kinky fuckery about him took me on the most unconventional 10/10 date. And then I woke up the next morning. Yesterday morning to be precise. That’s when things changed. Or did they…?

He got a tattoo. If you’ve been following this on Twitter or in my recent posts, you’ll know that but in case you didn’t, let me tell you the full story.

The full story is he got a tattoo to commemorate our first date. Yes, you read that right. I’ll say it again in case you didn’t quite get that the first time around. After just one date with me, just four hours, this guy woke up the next morning, pottered down to his local tattoo salon / friend’s workplace, and got himself inked up. We didn’t even sleep together. If one date with me was impressive enough, he’s gonna ask me to marry him for sure after we sleep together. I’m not beating around the bush, I reckon I’m pretty good in bed. I reckon he is too. Anyway, halo back on, we’re not talking about sex right now. We’re not even having sex right now. We’re talking about the tattoo.

It’s right at the very top of his inner thigh so basically, right next to his cock. Romantic as fuck right? Hmmmm. Carrying on, I have a tattoo of a bug on my leg. His new tattoo is my bug slightly modified, cleverly modified in fact, for him. The tattoo itself is stunning, amazing, I kinda want it for myself. But it’s definitely a tattoo for me. It’s not a generic tattoo, it’s a tattoo that looks out of place on him. It’s definitely a tattoo for someone… You know? Oh and if that wasn’t evident right from the start, he had a date added – the date of our first date.

Yes, romantic as fuck. But…. One date? He’s fucked if I’m shit in bed now isn’t he? Or if we actually end up hating each other. Or if we just don’t go much further and just fizzle out.

He wasn’t going to show me the tattoo until the first time I undressed him, you know with that whole (bullshit) fourth date rule and all. It’s probably for the best that he couldn’t contain his excitement any longer and sent me a photo of it. Can you imagine undressing someone for the first time, ripping down their underwear, and finding a cuter replica of YOUR tattoo, plus a commemorative date alongside it?

Awwwwwwks! 

I told him I thought he was crazy, after I mocked him a little on Twitter of course. I mean, a girl needs a few moments to process that kinda information.

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, here’s my number, I got a tattoo for you baby…

Hahaha. Cringe. I just made myself both laugh and shudder all at the same time.

“You’re aware you’re crazy right?” 

“Crazy for you. Last night was one of the best night’s of my life. I want to remember that forever. Plus you won’t go anywhere. I’m going to make you so happy, you won’t want another man. I promise you kitten, you’re everything I’m looking for. I know it.”

Blimey, you’ve gotta be reeeeeeeally sure of someone to get a tattoo for them before you’ve even slept together. He has a lot of tattoos, none of which are ex-related (with the exception of one – the baby mama, years ago, since covered), and it’s in a really personal spot so I guess no one else will ever see it. It’s actually a little comforting (psychotic?) to know that if we date / end up in a relationship, he’s going to need to explain that tattoo to another girl should she get that close to his junk. Although, if she were to get that close to his junk, I’d just ditch him anyway. I don’t stand for cheaters. I don’t have the forgiveness gene any longer. Not for that. There’s no excuse.

But he got a fucking tattoo. I mean we had a 10/10 date, I get that. I get that it was good fun, great fun in fact, and we both felt better than we have done in a long time, but a tattoo? One date? For once, I really don’t know what to say. Apart from, you know you’re crazy right?

You see, the funny thing about this scenario is it’s not the first time it’s happened to me. Do you remember Jock? The love of my life? The man I’ve spent the best part of two years failing to get over? Well…. He got a tattoo for me after just five or six dates. Not one date admittedly, but still much earlier on than I would normally feel comfortable with. See: How to Make Him Love You in 34 Days.

Jock and I got our matching tattoos after 7/8 months of dating and even then, it’s a pinkie finger tattoo that’s already faded and barely visible. Much like how our relationship ended up. But he said similar things – he knew I was the love of his life, he’d never date anyone after me, he’d never love anyone like he loved me… And six months into dating what appears to be my carbon copy, he’s already engaged. I’ve heard this bullshit before. I’ve been through this bullshit before. So… Surely I’d be smart enough to recognise the signs and stop it before it pulls me apart again? Before I get sucked in? I mean clearly this current dude is a little nuts. But so am I. I fall hard and fast and want nothing more than my fairytale dream ending but I’m not sure I’d be so sure after just one date. He’s a guy I want to date, yes. He’s a guy I want to bed, yes. He’s a guy I kinda hope will be a relationship and not just someone I dated for a while, yes. But am I tattoo-sure of that? No. Can he really be that sure?

You see, this puts me in a predicament. Do I move house and change my number now or do I go with it and see what happens? He might just be my kinda crazy. Okay, a little more than my kinda crazy but it’s made me smile a lot more than I figured it would. I’m still freaked out, don’t get me wrong, but it’s hella cute don’t you think? Quite the statement. At least we don’t need to have the exclusive chat. Always a bonus.

How the hell do I find myself in these situations? Like seriously? How? Twice. Not just once. Twice. Two men. Very similar men, I must add. But I won’t go into that now. This guy has had a lot of words already. Tomorrow maybe.

But yeah, my dates are so good, you’ll want to get a tattoo afterwards to commemorate the date.

I totally just high-fived myself.

Yes, I know he’s crazy.